Scandals are for Women, Men can laugh them off!!

So i’ve been following this Sex Tap Scandal by two Zimbabwean men who are said to be in Capetown. When it broke out early this week i did not really take part in it. As usual such scandals i take my time to study what is going on, assess the facts and the situation and if i have to speak, then i will speak. I often seen everything in Gender Lenses its amazing.

I want to believe that even though i live in Zimbabwe, i usually do not poke my nose into the business that doesn’t concern me, like homosexuality. I am fairly travelled, i see homosexuals around me, just as they see me and nobody really cares, unless its something that we have to engage on a personal note just like human beings, like working together, or if we are friends etc, thats besides the point. I am trying to say i am a person who really doesn’t care about someone’s sexual orientation because i respect other people as much as they respect my own sexual orientation, its really each to their own, i don’t really bother myself, for the most part, i seek to understand and embrace, and as a christian, i often live everything including my own struggles and life to God.

Today i’ve been bothered and i will have to write about it. It has come to my attention and understanding as i follow the whole scandal of the two Zimbabwean Homosexual men that, one of them is said to be married . The proof that i have about this guy being married came from himself alleging that ‘I was intoxicated on the day ‘i was drugged’, followed by his utterances that he is ‘homophobic’, and that he is a married man with 2 kids. The allegedly married guy’s(one of the homosexuals in the video) name is Exeter Godfrey Mudyiwa on this Facebook profile. The disturbing side to the story is that of a photograph circulating of him with a woman, many of which are being circulated with the face of the woman ‘protected’, some not.  The other partner who is alleged to be in the video is said to be one on Facebook-Profile  and it is not clear if it is him since i have not heard him addressing this issue directly, unlike Exeter Godfrey who i saw responding directly to some one Socialite’s Thomas Cstzzle Chizhanje’s wall where he invites Exeter to address the issue.

It is at this wall that i got really pissed off by some Zimbabweans. One member in a Facebook group that i am part of posted about how Thomas was going to interview this Homosexual guy Godfrey, who is actually Heterosexually married, about the video.  The alertness in me caused something not to sit well with me on hearing about the ‘interview’. Zimbabwe is full of scandals. I have to be clear that i call this a scandal because; 1. They recorded their sexual act which is supposed to be private, 2. They distributed or caused to leak, or where careless to cause their illegal material to leak for the consumption of others, which is a violation of other people and am gravely concerned about children having access to that porn material since many kids below the age of 18 have access to phones and can access such materials, 3. The fact that this guy admits to being married to a woman and yet goes around having probably ‘unprotected sex’ with the same sex, THOSE CONDITIONS MAKE IT SCANDALOUS, YOU CAN ADD YOUR OWN ANALYSIS!!.

My question is scandals happen everyday especially in women, nobody bothers to give them a fair interview, the social media in Zimbabwe, including the main line news, reports about it often in an ugly manner on hearsay and at that point society will have judged the woman and her life would have been destroyed already. On the other hand, these homosexual guys’ story who is married to a woman has been neutralised. Zimbabwe does not see this as a scandal enough nor the cheating as a need to shame, and name it loudly, in the H-Metros of this town, on the radio stations etc. The question is why? Why has this not made real news? Is it it’s because its men caught up and maybe we can’t allow men scandals to really be out there? Maybe we can’t! I have heard women in some groups saying, ‘we do not want to name and shame the married guy because we will expose his wife’. But wait a minute, who ever cared when women were caught up in scandals, that the husband would have to be protected? The society would come out blazing ready to shoot the woman with the man as a victim! They will go after the woman with everything they have to shame the ACT, to keep women ‘where they belong’, to make them good girls, so that the rest of the other women will learn that you do not engage in scandals. But how about men, they are allowed to do whatever they want. Actually when they are engaged in scandals we make them heroes, we provide them spaces to ‘meet the people’, and be heroes, for people to listen to the nonsense, why? because they are men, they can do anything? SHAME ON SUCH BEHAVIOR!!

Zimbabwe keeps showing me that patriarchy has buried us including this generation! We are so buried in it that even women have been nurtured and modelled in such a way that, they will punish other women for their sins, and women will pay severely! But the same men will commit worst sins but society will laugh about it, will dismiss it, will look for an opportunity to be ‘addressed by the perpetrators’ in denial that a ‘man can really be caught up in such cheating and shameful act of recording a sexual ponographic material’?

What i am challenging Zimbabwean news to do is to report fairly and equally, to bring out societal ills from both men and women the same way. To let children know that people are equal thus men and women, they are capable of making the same mistakes, and that a society’s rules and norms must be equally applied. If a society does not allow certain behaviours among its citizens for instance cheating in marriage, it should be for everyone. It must apply to both women and men! We should not give unity for men and punish women alone. We should treat women and men the same as equal human beings. Women MUST be freed to look at life with fair lenses, and that freedom begins with media equally covering stories and addressing societal issues the same way. Media coverage mustn’t be to silence women, to punish women, to label women or to put them in boxes while men are let loose.

As i end this article, my heart goes out to the wife of this ‘cheating-homosexual guy’. I pray that she has economic independence to move on from this kind of trauma and abuse of being double crossed. I am worried if she is safe from diseases. No one human being should ever have to deal with this. The temptation to the sister who is married to this guy would be to stick around and present that she supports her husband when in actual fact she might just stick around for economic reasons at the expense of her own health. I say if its you sister, move on you are still very young. To the young men who were caught up, it is a crime to record your sexual explicitly almost anywhere in the world, do not abuse other people as you make your choices. You have the responsibility to respect other people by making your sexual episodes private just like everyone else, you abused thousands if not millions in that ponographic video. You also have the responsibility to not abuse others like women in the process, and there is nothing heroic about this, its shameful!. And to Zimbabweans, lets not be complacent, let our yes be a yes, our no be a no, lets practice equality for all human beings. Men are no better than women, if you are going to frown upon scandals, make it be for everyone, both women and men!